Barely Breathing

I can't understand why it is that these last couple of weeks I've felt calm, at peace, and so strong (because of God) and this week I've been a total wreck. I'm crashing so hard, and I just keep wondering when this feeling will lift and I can breath without pain again. When will I be able to think straight, to stop crying for longer than an hour, and to feel some hope? My head hurts and my heart aches so badly that I feel like my chest might explode each time I take a breathe. Where is God right now? I thought He wouldn't leave me, and as long as He wouldn't leave me I wouldn't have to feel like this. Did I leave His side at some point and haven't realized it? What did I do to stray from Him? I need to feel His peace again. I just feel too week to even keep asking for Him to give me strength! What now Lord? I've hit an emotional bottom and my kids need me to pull through this quickly, aren't you going to pull me back up? I'm waiting. Can You please answer my call while I'm still breathing? I feel like I might die of a broken heart.