Growing up... and getting old

Mood: Reflective

My little brother has been on my mind so much lately. This morning I just couldn't stop thinking about him... how he's all grown up now... with a real job and a wife! How did this happen? Where did the time go? The reality of it all is finally sinking in now, two weeks after his wedding. It makes me realize how much older I really am than how I view myself. Most of the time I I feel like my younger, 20 year old self, and I forget that I've changed so much, and aged so much since then. When I look at old pictures and then back in the mirror I'm forced to face the fact that I really don't look 20 any more, even if I'd like to think I do. It saddens me. Not so much for vain reasons, but because I feel as though time has stolen my youth. In my spirit I feel the same as I did back then... young, beautiful, free, energetic, and strong. My body on the other hand, does not feel the same. I'm reluctant to admit even to myself that the lines around my eyes, the aches in my back, the tension in my shoulders, the responsibilities I've acquired, and the drop in my energy level all speak volumes about the years I've put behind me. I know there are  so many who would still tell me "You're still so young! Wait till you're my age!"... and they're right. I am still young... relatively speaking. The thing is, the number of people who can tell me that gets smaller all the time. Before I know it, I will be on the other side of that hill with more people to say that to than can say it to me. All I know is that I don't want to get there too fast, and I feel like Adam's wedding pushed me leaps and bounds closer. Thanks a lot Adam... for aging me! 
I'm amazed at how much my brother has changed over the past couple of years. I'm so proud of the man he's become. He still has some growing up to do, more wisdom to gain... just like the rest of us, but he's come so far. As I think of the heart ache he's already experienced at his young age, I'm so relieved that God led him to someone so precious, sweet, and absolutely perfect for him in every way as far as I can tell. They truly are best friends, and are so blessed to have so many common interests. It's a joy to watch them together and to hear them tell stories about their hunting, fishing, and dirt biking adventures! I'm so happy to call Shannon my sister. I have to admit that she's a bit hard to get to know, but I look forward to the many years ahead that I'll be able to work on that. I'm so happy for them both. I pray that they'll not take each other for granted, as so often happens in a marriage. 
I love my baby brother so much. I just can't believe it... he's a grown man... with a wife. I'm sure gonna miss being the number one girl in his life. Girlfriends have come and gone, but he's always come back to me! haha I'm okay with it though.  I was gonna be replaced eventually, it might as well be with a sweet girl like her.